1 Samuel 1:27 NIV
27 I prayed for this child, and the Lord answered my prayer and gave him to me.
Joseph, Samuel, Samson, Isaac and John the Baptist were all gifts from God to women of faith who prayed for many years for God to bless them with a child. Each time I read the accounts of their lives, I can relate to so many parts of their stories. I too prayed and yearned for a child for a very long time. The Lord heard my prayers and gave me a son on
Aug. 10, 2001 - William Solomon Golden.
This week we will celebrate Solomon’s 16th birthday! Boy how time flies by! Looking back I see the Lord’s hand so clearly in every step of his creation. God is the giver of every good and perfect gift and as my pastor reminded me, over a year prior to my baby's birth, God is also the giver of knowledge. Solomon was prayed for and planned for.
Solomon’s father and I were married just shy of 12 years before he was born, so the two of us certainly celebrated when we learned of his impending arrival. I’m talking home renovation, bumper pads on the coffee tables and corners as well as custom furniture for his tree-house themed nursery. I prayed about many things during those nine months, including what I should name my son. However, it was not until many years later that I connected the dots between the prophetic words spoken by my pastor as he laid his hands upon me to pray for a child with the meaning of my son’s name, Solomon. Solomon means wisdom, peace or shalom, fairness and justice. Wisdom took the very best of his father and the very best of his mother to create our son. Yes, I believe God had it all planned. It all had and has a purpose and a meaning. God has a special purpose for Solomon Golden’s life. I know it. I see it. I feel it. Just like God has a special purpose and plan for each one who loves and faithfully turns to HIM.
While God does not like divorce, I know without a doubt, after much fasting and prayer, that HE was directing my exodus. It pains me that my son will not know the comfort and strength, which I had growing up and still have, which comes from having a unified, loyal and loving, set of married parents, but this too did not take God by surprise. As a single mother, I do not wish divorce upon any family, but I believe, with all my heart, that God is going to take all these painful events, which Solomon has endured, and use them for “good” somehow through him. Although it has been very painful, overwhelming and challenging, God has blessed me through it all, drawing me even closer to HIM. While I have lost many material things and my entire core has changed, God has repaired, restored and blessed me far more than I ever imagined. I constantly see HIM fulfilling the roll of husband and friend to me perfectly, in a way which no man could ever accomplish. I will forever look to the Lord as my better half, no matter if I marry again or not. He will remain my first devotion and rightly so. That actually should take a lot of pressure off my future partner. I will forever look and call upon the Lord to provide.
Mid-life, single motherhood to a teenage boy has had it’s own physical and emotional challenges. Thankfully, Solomon and I are able to see the humor in both of us going through hormonal changes at the same time… and surviving. For a long time now, I have tried to be both mother and father to my growing boy. You know, buck up, man up, type of guidance mixed with hugs, kisses, pats on the back, all while baking a batch of chocolate chip cookies. That gender flipping role was wearing us both out. At a time I was concentrating on prospering my femininity, I also felt the need to try to be Jason Garrett, Roland Martin, Daniel Boone, Willie Robertson and Ted Nugget all rolled up in one for my son. What a mental picture that is. Oh, how frustrating it was for both of us, until I realized that it is as unhealthy for a woman to try to be a father to her kids as it is to try to be their best friend. Teenage boys do not need their mothers acting like a dad. Just be their mother, set boundaries, stay firm but don’t try to man up. One of the best advise I have been given came from a single father who raised boys on his own. “Remember, NO is a complete sentence.” He said. “It needs no other words nor follow up.” I silently remind myself that when forcing myself to remain silent and firm during those dreadful teenage debates.
It is hard not having a masculine support system, but I’ve learned I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Solomon and I are thankful and appreciative for the occasional visits from my brother as well as the guidance from the faithful men at our church. They are good examples of stable manhood to my son. That has taken the pressure off both of us which has improved our mother/son relationship. Through the jeers, fears, tears and cheers, my son and I are praying earnestly as we navigate this expedition. I don’t have all the answers and that’s ok too, because we know who does. God is our Heavenly Father, our ever present Abba (Daddy), our head of household, our provider, our protector, our sustainer, our defender. Now that Solomon is about to get his driving license, I am leaning on HIM more than ever.
All those Biblical men I mentioned above, who were gifts from God after prayer, became great leaders in spite and because of their circumstances. God had a plan for them. HE knew them while HE was actively knitting them in their mother’s womb. God foresaw their challenges and gave them a firm foundation to persevere. He used everything in their lives for HIS glory. It’s all going to be more than OK. It is a part of God’s plan.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOLOMON!
I’ve got my heart on you!